Avoidance Can Reinforce Anxiety Over Time
Avoiding situations that trigger anxiety can bring immediate relief. In the short term, stepping away from a difficult task, conversation, meeting or environment may help someone feel safer and more in control.
However, when avoidance becomes the main way of managing anxiety, it can sometimes make the anxiety stronger over time.
How Can the Cycle Develop?
A situation causes anxiety → the person avoids it → anxiety reduces → the brain learns that avoidance brought relief → the situation feels even more threatening next time.
Over time, the person may begin avoiding more situations, even ones they previously managed.
At Work, Avoidance Might Look Like:
• Putting off difficult emails or telephone calls
• Avoiding meetings or presentations
• Delaying unfamiliar or challenging tasks
• Staying quiet because speaking feels risky
• Avoiding asking questions or requesting help
• Repeatedly postponing decisions
• Avoiding certain colleagues or environments
• Turning down opportunities because anxiety feels too high
• Calling in sick before particularly stressful situations
This behaviour can sometimes be mistaken for disinterest, poor motivation or unwillingness to participate, when the person may actually be experiencing significant anxiety.
Avoidance Isn't Always Obvious
Someone can still attend a meeting while avoiding speaking.
They can complete a task while repeatedly checking every detail.
They can remain at work while avoiding conversations, decisions or situations that feel uncertain.
These behaviours may reduce anxiety temporarily but can also prevent the person from discovering:
“I might actually be able to manage this.”
Support Doesn't Mean Forcing Someone
The answer is not simply to push someone into situations that overwhelm them.
Support should be individual, collaborative and manageable.
Helpful approaches might include breaking difficult situations into smaller steps, preparing beforehand, agreeing clear expectations, allowing additional processing time and gradually building confidence.
Workplace Adjustments Still Matter
It is important to distinguish between anxiety-driven avoidance and a genuine need for workplace adjustments.
Reducing unnecessary sensory demands, changing communication methods, providing flexibility or adapting working arrangements can be appropriate support.
The aim should never be to remove reasonable adjustments simply because something has been labelled “avoidance.”
Small Steps Can Build Confidence
Instead of moving from:
“I can't do this” → “I must do everything.”
A more manageable approach might be:
“What is the smallest safe step I could try?”
Successful experiences can gradually help the brain learn that a situation may be uncomfortable without necessarily being dangerous.
Remember
Avoidance is often an attempt to feel safe, not a sign that someone is lazy, difficult or unwilling.
Understanding what sits underneath the behaviour can help workplaces respond with curiosity, appropriate support and realistic opportunities to build confidence.
Space to Breathe
