“Am I LGBTQ+ Enough?”
It can be easy to look at other people and wonder whether you somehow fit enough, know enough or have experienced enough to belong within the LGBTQ+ community.
Perhaps you realised something about your identity later in life. You may be in a different-gender relationship, have little or no dating experience, not attend Pride events or LGBTQ+ spaces, or simply express yourself differently from the stereotypes you see around you.
None of these things make your identity less valid.
There is no checklist for being LGBTQ+ and no particular way you have to dress, behave, speak, love or live. Identity is personal, and for some people it remains consistent throughout their lives, while for others their understanding of themselves develops and changes over time.
When comparison creates self-doubt
Sometimes the question “Am I LGBTQ+ enough?” isn't really about identity at all. It can come from feeling that you don't quite belong.
You might find yourself comparing your experiences with other people's, questioning whether you have the right to use a particular label, or worrying that others may not accept you.
These feelings can be particularly difficult when you already feel different or haven't found a community where you feel comfortable being yourself.
You don't have to prove who you are
You do not need a certain relationship history.
You don't need to have known from childhood.
You don't need to come out before you're ready — or at all.
You don't need to attend Pride.
You don't need to look a particular way.
And you don't need anyone else's permission to understand and explore who you are.
A gentle reflection
If you notice yourself thinking “Am I enough?”, try changing the question.
Instead ask:
“What would it feel like to give myself permission to be me without having to prove it?”
You may not have every answer yet, and that's okay. Understanding yourself can be a process rather than a single moment of certainty.
A message from me
I want this library to be somewhere you can explore identity without feeling that you have to fit into another box.
You are allowed to question.
You are allowed to explore.
You are allowed to change the words you use to describe yourself.
And you are allowed to simply be you.
There is room for your experience too.
Until next time, give yourself space to breathe.
, Maggie
Space to Breathe Therapy
