The Pressure to Be the Provider
For many men, the idea of being the provider can become closely connected to their sense of identity and worth.
Providing for the people you love can feel important, but when finances become difficult, work changes or you simply can't provide in the way you think you should, the emotional impact can reach far beyond money.
It can bring feelings of shame, anxiety and fear of letting people down. Some men may respond by working longer and longer hours, keeping financial worries to themselves or constantly comparing what they earn and provide with other men.
And underneath all of that can sit a very difficult belief:
“If I can't provide financially, I'm failing the people I love.”
I think we need to challenge that.
Being a good partner, dad or family member isn't measured by a bank balance or payslip.
You provide in so many other ways.
You provide when you give someone your time.
When you listen.
When you show affection.
When you are reliable.
When you make someone feel safe.
When you turn up.
When you are present.
Financial pressures are real, and they can be incredibly stressful. But your financial situation does not determine your value as a man or your worth within your family.
If you're carrying money worries quietly because you feel it's your responsibility to sort everything out alone, please consider letting somebody in.
Providing doesn't always mean carrying everything.
Sometimes it also means allowing yourself to be supported.
With love,
Maggie
Space to Breathe Therapy
