Communication Across Thinking Styles
Neurodivergence at Work – Article 4
Communication difficulties are often described as though one person is getting it wrong. In reality, misunderstandings frequently happen because people process language, timing, detail and social information differently.
In this article, I explore communication across thinking styles with a practical and compassionate focus. Some people think best while speaking. Others need time to process before responding. Some value direct, precise language, while others rely on hints, tone or unwritten expectations. None of these approaches is automatically better, but problems arise when one style is treated as the only acceptable one.
This article encourages teams to become more flexible in how they share information and collaborate. The aim is not to make everybody communicate identically. It is to create enough clarity and choice for people to understand one another. A person who asks detailed questions may be seeking clarity, not challenging authority. Someone who avoids eye contact may still be listening carefully. A delayed response may reflect processing rather than disengagement.
The resource considers the everyday experiences that can make working life easier or more difficult. Clear requests, written follow-up and explicit priorities reduce the need to guess. This can be particularly helpful for autistic employees, people with ADHD or dyslexia, and anyone working under stress. It looks beyond surface behaviour and encourages us to notice the environment, expectations and systems surrounding the person.
I have written this for teams experiencing repeated misunderstandings, managers who want meetings to be more accessible, neurodivergent employees seeking language for communication needs, and colleagues who want to collaborate with greater confidence. Support does not mean lowering standards, removing responsibility or expecting managers to become therapists. It means creating conditions in which people can communicate clearly, ask for support, use their strengths and remain well enough to contribute.
The article also encourages us to move away from individual blame. Teams can invite contributions before or after meetings, use shared documents, provide agendas and allow written responses. When communication routes are varied, more people have a genuine opportunity to contribute. When somebody is overwhelmed, struggling or using enormous energy simply to get through the day, asking them to try harder may overlook the barriers around them. Sustainable working grows when personal strategies and organisational responsibility work together.
My hope is that this resource helps start thoughtful conversations before difficulties reach crisis point. Small changes in communication, flexibility, workload, sensory demands, recovery time and psychological safety can have a meaningful effect when they are consistent and genuinely supported.
A neuroinclusive workplace does not have to be perfect. It needs to be willing to listen, learn and respond. When people feel respected and safe enough to be honest, both wellbeing and good work have more room to grow.
By Maggie Learoyd
Psychotherapist | ADHD, Autism & ARFID Specialist
Founder of Space to Breathe Therapy
