They Just Won’t Eat – What the Parent Sees vs What the Child Feels
A compassionate, personal guide to understanding ARFID from both sides of the table.
When a child struggles to eat, parents often experience fear, frustration, helplessness and concern about their child's health. But what looks like stubbornness, fussiness or refusal may actually be an overwhelming experience involving sensory sensitivities, anxiety, physical discomfort or a genuine inability to eat.
This illustrated guide explores the difference between what parents see and what children with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) may be experiencing.
Drawing on my own lived experience of ARFID, beginning in childhood, and my professional work as a therapist, I share what eating felt like from my side of the table, what I wish the adults around me had understood, and what I now recognise when supporting children, adults and families.
The guide explores why pressure, bargaining, counting bites and removing safe foods can unintentionally increase distress. It explains the importance of recognising sensory experiences, understanding food-related fears, respecting safe foods and building trust rather than turning mealtimes into battles.
Most importantly, it encourages parents to look beyond the plate and recognise the person sitting opposite them.
This is not about blaming parents or expecting children to simply overcome their difficulties. It is about replacing misunderstanding with curiosity, pressure with compassion, and conflict with connection.
From my table to yours, I hope this guide helps you see eating difficulties differently and reminds you that neither you nor your child has to navigate ARFID alone.
For further guidance, individual support or help understanding ARFID within your family, visit Space to Breathe Therapy, where you can explore additional resources and book an appointment with me.
