Becoming Comfortable Being You
The Journey of Self-Acceptance – Article 3
Many LGBTQ+ people spend years adapting to other people’s expectations before having space to ask who they are when they are no longer trying to keep everyone else comfortable. Those adaptations may have protected relationships, reduced conflict or helped someone remain safe.
In this article, I explore the gradual process of becoming more comfortable being yourself. Authenticity does not mean telling everyone everything or living without fear. It means creating greater alignment between personal values, identity and the way everyday choices are made.
The resource considers masking and self-editing: changing language, monitoring behaviour, hiding relationships or performing interests that feel expected. These strategies may be necessary in unsafe environments, but when they become constant they can leave someone feeling disconnected from themselves.
I have written this for people who want a more honest relationship with themselves without being pushed towards disclosure. Safety remains important, and nobody owes personal information to another person. Authenticity must include the freedom to choose where, when and with whom openness feels right.
The article encourages gentle experiments rather than dramatic change. Wearing something that feels more like you, naming a preference, using language that fits or spending time with one trusted person can all help the nervous system experience authenticity alongside safety.
My hope is that this resource helps people recognise that comfort grows through practice. There may be awkwardness, grief or uncertainty as old roles begin to loosen. These feelings do not mean the journey is wrong.
You are allowed to build a life that feels recognisably yours. Becoming comfortable being you is not about becoming fearless. It is about needing less permission to exist as the person you already are.
By Maggie Learoyd
Psychotherapist | ADHD, Autism & ARFID Specialist
Founder of Space to Breathe Therapy
