Overcoming Self-Doubt
LGBTQ+ Confidence – Article 2
Self-doubt can sound convincing. It may tell us that we are too much, not enough, difficult to love or unlikely to succeed. When these thoughts have been repeated for years, they can begin to feel like facts even when they originated in other people’s prejudice, fear or misunderstanding.
In this article, I explore how self-doubt and internalised negative beliefs can develop for LGBTQ+ people. Messages from families, schools, faith communities, workplaces, media and wider society may be absorbed long before we have the language or safety to challenge them.
The resource considers how an inner critic can continue speaking in the voices of past experiences. It looks at noticing these beliefs, asking where they came from and separating inherited shame from personal truth. This is not about forcing positive thinking. It is about making room for a fairer and more compassionate understanding of yourself.
I have written this for anyone who recognises the exhausting feeling of questioning their worth, identity, choices or place in the world. It is also for those supporting LGBTQ+ people who want to understand why reassurance alone may not immediately undo years of harmful messages.
The article encourages gentle change rather than another demand to become confident quickly. Helpful steps may include recording evidence that challenges an old belief, noticing the language used by the inner critic, spending time with affirming people and responding to yourself as you would respond to somebody you care about.
My hope is that this resource helps you recognise that self-doubt is often learned rather than deserved. Learning can be revisited. Beliefs can soften when they are met with safety, repeated evidence, supportive relationships and the freedom to build a life that reflects your own values.
You are not the cruel things that have been said, implied or expected of you. Your worth is not something you have to earn by becoming smaller. A kinder inner voice can grow, one honest and compassionate response at a time.
By Maggie Learoyd
Psychotherapist | ADHD, Autism & ARFID Specialist
Founder of Space to Breathe Therapy
