Maybe You're Tired of Saying 'I'm Fine'
Understanding Men's Mental Health – Article 1
‘I'm fine’ can be a genuine answer, but it can also become a shield. Sometimes it is easier than explaining feelings we do not fully understand, worrying somebody else or admitting that life has become harder than we expected.
In this reflective piece, I invite you to become curious about what sits beneath that familiar response. There is no pressure to label yourself or provide an immediate explanation. The starting point is simply noticing whether the words still feel true.
The resource explores where men may learn that difficulty should be handled alone. Family, school, sport, work and cultural expectations can all communicate that strength means staying silent, remaining useful and never allowing other people to see uncertainty.
I have written this for the man who continues to function while feeling increasingly distant from himself. You may still be working, caring for others and meeting responsibilities, yet recognise that your patience, sleep, motivation or enjoyment have quietly changed.
The piece also considers the cost of keeping everything contained. Feelings do not disappear because they are not spoken. They may emerge as tension, anger, exhaustion, numbness, withdrawal or the sense that you are moving through life without really being part of it.
My hope is that these words offer permission to answer yourself honestly, even if you are not yet ready to answer anyone else. ‘I'm not sure how I am’ or ‘things have been difficult’ can be enough to begin.
You do not have to prove your strength by hiding every difficult feeling. Sometimes the strongest and most truthful response is allowing ‘I'm fine’ to become the beginning of a conversation rather than the end of one.
By Maggie Learoyd
Psychotherapist | ADHD, Autism & ARFID Specialist
Founder of Space to Breathe Therapy
