Overthinking What to Say
Does every conversation feel as though it needs a rehearsal?
For some people, talking is not simply talking. Before a conversation there may be scripting and planning. During it there can be constant monitoring of words, tone, facial expression and the other person's reaction. Afterwards comes the replay: analysing one sentence, wondering whether something sounded wrong and thinking of the answer you wish you had given.
This resource explores why conversations can become such intense mental work. It looks at anxiety, rejection sensitivity, previous criticism, masking, autism, ADHD, perfectionism and the need for extra processing time without assuming that one explanation fits everyone.
The downloadable guide covers overthinking before, during and after conversations; why texting can become another source of repeated checking; practical ways to prepare without becoming trapped by scripts; the 'good enough' message rule; processing-time phrases; and a conversation reset worksheet for separating facts from assumptions.
There is also guidance for family, friends and colleagues on making communication clearer and less pressured.
You do not need the perfect sentence to deserve to be heard. Communication can include pauses, clarification, repair and trying again.
Space to Breathe Therapy
Therapy • Support • Understanding
