This Person Is Affecting Me
Someone's words, actions, unpredictability or presence can change how we feel. You do not have to prove your feelings are reasonable before you can listen to them.
Understand the impact · Notice your needs · Choose your next step1. What feels difficult around this person?
Select a part of the experience. The explanation and practical support below will change to match your choice.
When their words stay with you
A comment can keep replaying long after a conversation has ended. Your reaction may reflect the meaning you heard, previous experiences, or a need for respect and reassurance.
Something you could tryName the specific words or tone that affected you. Ask yourself: “What did I need in that moment?”
2. Notice what happens inside
Different reactions can be protective responses. They do not tell you that you are weak, difficult or overreacting.
What happens in your body?
What feelings show up?
3. Find your footing before deciding what to do
There is no requirement to confront someone while you feel overwhelmed.
Quick support messages
Tap a card to reveal words you could use, adapt or simply keep for yourself.
4. What belongs to me, and what does not?
You can take responsibility for your actions without carrying responsibility for another person's feelings, choices or behaviour.
5. Create a small next-step plan
Choose what would help most. You can change your mind later.
When this is more than a difficult interaction
If someone frightens, threatens, coerces, controls or repeatedly humiliates you, your safety matters more than finding the perfect words. Consider speaking with someone you trust or a specialist support service. If you are in immediate danger in the UK, call 999.
