LEARNING TO LIVE ALONGSIDE GRIEF
Grief is not something I believe we simply 'get over'. When somebody or something deeply important is lost, the loss becomes part of our story. What can change, slowly and in our own time, is the amount of life that begins to grow around it.
This fuller Space to Breathe guide explores grief as an emotional, physical, social and practical experience. It looks at grief waves and triggers, memory and concentration, sleep and appetite, identity after loss, relationships, loneliness, guilt, returning to work, significant dates, continuing bonds and the complicated feelings that can appear when life begins to feel enjoyable again.
I have included practical ideas for the days when grief feels particularly heavy, because sometimes coping is not about finding a profound answer. Sometimes it is about making the day smaller, having something to eat, getting some rest, writing down what you need to remember and allowing somebody safe to sit beside you.
The guide also explores person-centred counselling, bereavement support, trauma-informed therapy, family or couples work, peer support and when it may be helpful to speak with your GP or another mental-health professional.
A MESSAGE FROM ME
I do not think learning to live alongside grief means learning to leave somebody behind.
Sometimes I think it means slowly learning how to carry them differently.
There may be days when you feel you are doing okay and then something tiny catches you - a song, a smell, an empty chair, a phrase they used or something you would normally have told them.
Please do not see that as going backwards.
Love leaves traces everywhere. Of course there will be reminders.
You are allowed to miss somebody and still have a life. You are allowed to laugh without feeling guilty. You are allowed to make new memories without replacing the old ones.
There is no prize for grieving quietly, neatly or quickly.
If today is difficult, make today smaller. Eat something simple. Have a drink. Open the window. Sit with somebody safe. You do not need to work out the rest of your life tonight.
And when a little bit of life begins to return, please do not feel that you are betraying the person you lost.
Living is not forgetting.
You can carry grief in one hand and life in the other. Some days one will feel much heavier than the other, but both are allowed to be there.
With warmth,
Maggie
Space to Breathe Therapy
BOOKS INCLUDED
• Grief Works - Julia Samuel
• The Plain Guide to Grief - John Wilson
• It's OK That You're Not OK - Megan Devine
• A Grief Observed - C. S. Lewis
• The Wild Edge of Sorrow - Francis Weller
• The Grieving Brain - Mary-Frances O'Connor
SUPPORT INCLUDED
Cruse Bereavement Support - 0808 808 1677
NHS grief and bereavement information
Samaritans - 116 123
The Good Grief Trust
Sue Ryder bereavement support
Space to Breathe Therapy Support Hub
www.spacetobreathetherapy.co.uk
