Erotomania (De Clérambault’s Syndrome)

A delusional belief that another person is secretly in love, despite clear evidence to the contrary.

1) What it is

Erotomania is a type of delusional disorder where someone has a fixed belief that:

  • another person (often a stranger, celebrity, professional, or person of higher status) is in love with them

It is classified as a subtype of delusional disorder in modern diagnostic systems.

The belief continues even if:

  • the person has never spoken to them
  • the person has clearly said “no”
  • evidence contradicts the belief

2) What it feels like (real-life examples)

People may think:

  • “They’re sending secret messages.”
  • “They can’t say it openly, but they love me.”
  • “The signs are everywhere.”
  • “They’re being kept from me.”
  • “People are trying to stop us being together.”

The person may feel:

  • excited, driven, hopeful
  • rejected, furious, devastated when challenged
  • obsessed and unable to let it go
  • unsafe or targeted if they believe there’s a “blocker”

3) Common signs & symptoms

  • fixed belief someone loves them
  • interpreting neutral events as proof (glances, posts, timing)
  • repeated attempts to contact the person
  • monitoring social media
  • sending gifts or messages
  • distress or anger when denied
  • sometimes stalking behaviour (risk)

Patient.info notes erotomania is classified as a delusional disorder subtype.

4) What causes it / risk factors

Possible contributors include:

  • psychosis vulnerability
  • isolation and loneliness
  • stress and trauma
  • mood disorders
  • substance misuse (can worsen delusions)
  • poor sleep

5) Triggers (what can make it worse)

  • rejection
  • being blocked or ignored
  • social media reinforcement
  • sleep deprivation
  • stress overload
  • humiliation or shame
  • alcohol or drug use

6) What helps right now (fast relief tools)

If there’s risk of stalking, harassment, or harm, professional help is urgent.

Helpful immediate approaches include:

  • keep communication calm
  • don’t mock or aggressively argue
  • focus on safety and feelings rather than “proof”
  • reduce internet monitoring
  • encourage clinical assessment

7) Longer-term self-help strategies

If the person is willing:

  • reduce contact attempts to zero
  • block or mute social media triggers
  • structure days to reduce obsession time
  • treat loneliness safely through support networks
  • establish sleep routine and stress reduction
  • therapy for underlying needs and beliefs

8) Treatment options (what usually helps)

Treatment usually includes:

  • psychiatric assessment
  • antipsychotic medication (often used)
  • CBT or supportive therapy
  • family or carer support
  • safety planning where risks exist

9) Medication overview (plain-English)

Medication may reduce:

  • intensity of delusional belief
  • distress and agitation
  • obsessive rumination

A psychiatrist decides the safest option.

10) Work, relationships & daily life tips

  • reduce rumination time with structured routines
  • avoid online searching or stalking loops
  • choose safe supports that don’t reinforce the belief
  • protect the other person’s safety and boundaries

11) When to seek urgent help

Seek urgent help if there is:

  • stalking or harassment risk
  • threats to self or others
  • escalating paranoia or aggression
  • inability to function
  • severe insomnia for multiple nights

12) Trusted help & resources

Get help (National support)

  • NHS: Mental health services and urgent help
  • NHS: Psychosis symptoms (delusions explained)
  • Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7)
  • Shout: text SHOUT to 85258